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The Vampire Diaries Fic: Soldier Boy
Damon
only_more_love

Title: Soldier Boy (1/1)
Fandom: The Vampire Diaries (tv show, not book)
Characters: Damon Salvatore, Elena Gilbert
Rating: PG-13 for mild language
Words: 565
Spoilers: Through 2x09
Disclaimer:
The Vampire Diaries and its characters belong to the CW, not me. This story is purely meant to entertain. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: In this war, he won't be a deserter.
A/N: I'm new to TVD and to Damon/Elena, so forgive me if there are gaping holes in this. Con crit is always welcome.

There are a thousand reasons why this 'ship is dirty/bad/wrong, but I can't help being intrigued anyway. ;) Fiction isn't real life, after all. And the angst, oy...

To lurkers and commenters alike, thank you.

Feel free to friend for updates. If you'd like me to add you back, please say something; I don't bite. :) 

***
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Soldier Boy

He goes to her with the taste of Rose still heavy on his tongue.

Cloaked in shadow, with only the cold stars in the night-black sky to keep him company, Damon sits vigil in the ancient oak behind her house, the bark rough at his back. The Originals are out there; she isn't safe, and as long as she isn't, he'll wait by her window like her own personal gargoyle. If that's what it takes.

He can stand seeing her in Stefan's arms. Baby brother deserves her even if he doesn't. (That doesn't keep him from wanting her; if only love and desire were that simple.) He can stand her not remembering his selfish confession. He can even stand the arctic distance in her eyes, the miles he put there with his rash actions.

But she has to be all right. The alternative would be intolerable.

She's trying hard to muffle the sounds of her crying against her pillow, probably in an effort to avoid alarming Jenna or Jeremy, but he can hear her. Is she afraid? Sad? The questions torment him, tugging him inexorably toward her room. His hands grip the rough bark until his palms are scratched and bloody, holding him there against his every instinct. She won't welcome his presence, won't allow herself to find comfort in him. Friends, she told him, help each other, and right now this is how he can help her.

Friends, he thinks, his mouth filling with bitter ash. What is it about him that makes him such a fucking pansy for women who could never love him? All that love's ever gotten him is an eternity of loneliness.

It doesn't matter. In this war, he won't be a deserter.

Eventually Elena's sobs quiet and cease, her breath relaxing into a sleep he desperately hopes is peaceful but fears is anything but. If the vervain didn't keep him from doing it, he'd fill her dreams with sunshine and puppies and even...Stefan.

Only once he's certain she's asleep does he come into her room. Her blanket lies in a sad heap at the bottom of her bed, her ridiculous stuffed bear has been tossed onto the floor. He can't help rolling his eyes at the latter, but his mouth curves into a smile utterly devoid of cynicism as he tucks the bear into bed next to her and gently pulls the blanket over her sleeping form.

Despite his effort to avoid looking at her face, he fails: even vampires can be compelled, it seems. He permits himself a quick glance at the tearstains on her cheeks and chin - silver paths of captured moonlight - and calls himself a fool a thousand times over.

The longer he stays in the stillness of her room, the more he'll want to touch her. One of his hands lifts toward her face, hovering there, not touching, just feeling the heat rising from her. Then he departs, resuming his post outside, like a good little soldier boy.

Lulled by the metronome of Elena's heartbeat, Damon keeps watch in the tree, a dark sentinel, eyes at half-mast but fully awake. Until dawn drifts in on tendrils of gold and indigo, and he hears her heartbeat accelerate as she begins to wake.

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I already left you a long, semi-coherent review at FFN, but let me just say this:

!!!

I don't care if it's via e-mail, LJ, Twitter, what have you, but I would like nothing more than to get all fangirly with you about this, because seeing this posted SO made my day. One of my favorite writers diving into this fandom? It's not even my birthday. *g*

Let's talk soon.

Woot! I didn't know you were a TVD fan; this makes me unreasonably happy. Will you forgive me if I squee just a little? *g*

So here's the story: I'd been hearing rumblings about this show for a while, and in mid-November I decided to try an ep or two. The rest, as they say, is history. ;) I really do care about all the characters. It's hard not to, when each one is both good AND bad. The writing is tight and nuanced, and I was expecting a much less MATURE show than I got.

Part of me thinks Elena/Damon/Stefan would make a terrific OT3. I've never shipped a threesome before, but I feel like they could actually maybe pull it off here. Vamps have fewer taboos, right? :P

I like Stefan; he's a great guy. But I LOVE the idea of Damon/Elena.

The dirty/bad/wrong thing was mostly tongue-in-cheek. But it is a fact that he slept with and turned her mother, abused one of her dearest friends, and "killed" her brother. He's wreaked a lot of havoc; he continues to do so. Can he be redeemed? How? He loves her; I buy that wholeheartedly.

There are shades of Spike/Buffy in Damon/Elena; it's not a 1:1 thing, but there are similarities. And what's surprising to me is that I was and still am an Angel/Buffy woman. But here, as much as I like Stefan and am not anti-Stefan/Elena, my 'shippy little heart is rapidly becoming obsessed with Damon/Elena. They've grabbed my by the throat in a way that's totally unexpected. I think they have a long road ahead of them, but if he continues to evolve, I would love for her to be the woman who finally puts him first and chooses HIM, for once in his sorry life/un-life.

She actually cares about him, and that was clear very early on in the show. I think that caught Damon off-guard. He started off wanting to piss off his brother and toy with the woman who looked like his sire. But she showed him compassion and trust; more than he'd probably been shown in a long time, if ever. I think he wants to be a better man (vampire) for her. She sees goodness in him, and so he wants to BE good, to live up to her belief in him.

He could easily have compelled her to do whatever with him at the end of 2x08; he didn't. He didn't kiss her on the mouth like he did when he thought Katherine was actually her. Hell, he didn't even let her REMEMBER his confession of love -- because he wants her to be happy -- and he doesn't believe her knowing about the true extent of his feelings will bring her happiness.

And you know what else? I think if he could, he really would have filled her dreams with Stefan. ♥ He loves her, and he CAN be unselfish. Be still my crushed-but-still-beating heart.

I can't believe I just babbled on like that. On second thought, I can. *g* I just haven't felt inspired to do it in a long, long time.

Please fangirl with me and tell me how you see them (and other characters), if you're so inclined. I was just thinking that I need more TVD fans on my f-list.

Oh, and thank you SO MUCH for the lovely, lovely feedback. I am so happy Soldier Boy didn't sound crazy to you. It's a little scary writing in a new fandom. :) ♥

It can't be healthy to be so taken with fictional characters, can it? *g*

Edited at 2010-12-02 12:38 am (UTC)

Your squee at finding out we have this fandom in common can't possibly have been louder than mine when I discovered you WRITING IN IT.

Can I admit to uber-geekdom here and tell you that I read the books TVD is based on? (On a side note, LJ Smith is actually *still* putting out new books with these three. And, uh, yes, I'm reading them.) Very different, but my Damon-leaning started way back then.

Anyway! The moment you mentioned, where he told her how he felt and then wiped it away - and that single tear! gah! - because he was putting her feelings before his? That sunk the Stefan/Elena 'ship for me ... until you wrote OT3, and then I think my heart skipped a beat or several. Man.

And the thing about Damon is that I could totally buy him as her choice. Sure, he's a bad boy - I had to bite my lip when you reeled off some of his past crimes! - but when she's needed him, he's been there. End of story. That kind of loyalty and devotion is pretty compelling, especially when he's setting aside his own agenda in favor of her best interests. I think that's why, when I read your ficlet, I was so thrilled. Because you got him so perfectly, at least as I see him. *g*

I want to think there's hope for them, in a future, far-off sort of way. He loves her in a way Stefan can never - because Stefan knows he deserves Elena, and Damon will never believe that he does. Put me on the side of the very pretty underdog, please!

If it makes you feel better, I haven't done this kind of babbling in ages, either. Seems like we both needed it. And believe me, I'm happy to continue!

K,

Go listen to this and tell me it isn't them: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfzRlcnq_c0

You only know what I want you to
I know everything you don't want me to
Oh your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine
Oh you think your dreams are the same as mine
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
I always will

I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back
The less I give the more I get back
Oh your hands can heal, your hands can bruise
I don't have a choice but I still choose you
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
I always will
I always will
I always will
I always will
I always will

You know what you've done here, right? This one demands to be explored in fic ... What I've had in my head since he told her he loved her is a lingering what-if: what if it hadn't worked? What if she'd remembered?

I squealed so loud that every dog in the neighborhood went deaf. *g*

Do it! Write it! I will read it and squee and praise and clap my hands with joy.

I hear you on the "lingering what-if." I've had twinklings myself. You know, there's a theory that she was drinking vervain tea, so the "compelling" didn't work. I'll see if I can dig up a link, honey.

In the meantime, I fully support your desire to write this TVD fic -- or any other. I am so glad you're feeling inspired. I adore your writing. ♥ If I can help you in any way, please let me know. For example, I can ply you with this: Photobucket

If you heard a very loud thud, that was me, falling off the couch. That -- I can't say I don't have any words for what I'm seeing, but they may not be appropriate for polite company. I'll settle for guh.

I'll see what I can do about fleshing out the plot bunny, since you ever so kindly provided me with this pretty piece of ... inspiration. Hand-holding will definitely be required, though!

Honey I know what you mean.

So works for me. He is something isn't he?

Have you seen "The Sacrifice"? of course you did stupid question. It was worth the wait wasn't it?

I didn't get to watch The Sacrifice exactly when it aired because they were airing high school football on our local network, but I watched it just as soon as I could get my greedy little paws on it. *g* And I loved it!

I don't live in the US. I live in UAE. And so I have to wait two hours after it airs and download it to watch it. Sometimes I have to wait for 6 or 7 hours to get it here.

Their airing the first season here and so I can't watch it with them. If I did, which I do anyway (can't get enough of Damon) I'd go nuts.

I love how he seems to be soo deeply connected to her. Almost like she moves, he moves. Its feels like magic yet real in a way. Possible. I can see it happening on screen. I can see him begining to realize that the sound of her heart is all there is. I always imagined that at some point when he believes she's dead, and allows his monster to take over. The sound of her heartbeat will bring him back. That Damon we all know and love.

I'm not making sense I'm sorry its 4:40 am here, and one of our cats is in heat which is robbing me of any sleep.

Thanks so much for reading and commenting on this; I appreciate your taking the time to do that. I'm so thrilled this worked for you. Your descriptions of how this read to you are lovely, and it makes me happy that what I wrote made you feel that way. And you made perfect sense; I understand what you meant about her heartbeat. :)

Hope you get some sleep soon, and thanks again!

Thank you so much for your kind response. I'm usually a much better writer but with the lack of sleep I performed poorly :)

Either way I'm looking forward to more of your work.

No worries; commenting here is never a performance. :) But you did fine regardless!

Thank you again.

Very kind of you to say so. English is not my first language. Not that I'm doing great with it anyway.

oooooh vampire creepers, why are you so apealing?


this was beautifully written, i loved the pace and the way he seems to planned and organized in his misery, like he's done it before, but he can't stop anyway. and i DIED at the ....Stefen. fabulous.

Haha I Just.Can't.Help.It. *g*

Thank you, honey. When it comes to Elena, Damon's under a form of compulsion. ;) Glad the mention of Stefan worked for you, too. I really believe Damon loves Elena enough to put Stefan in her dreams if he can. But I am a sap, so I believe in love and transcendence and redemption and all that stuff.

well vampire stories are really only fun if you believe in all that blather. ;)


he loves her SOOOOOO.

Your icon is killing me. *g*

Read this earlier today but didn't have time to comment - it's really fantastic ♥

Friends, he thinks, his mouth filling with bitter ash. What is it about him that makes him such a fucking pansy for women who could never love him? All that love's ever gotten him is an eternity of loneliness.

THE ANGST IN THIS SHIP. GUH YOU NAILED IT SO WELL. And I really dig the connection to his soldier days. Great stuff :)

I really appreciate your coming back to leave a comment; you didn't HAVE to do that, but I'm so glad you did. :) TVD's a new fandom for me, and writing in a new fandom can be a little nerve-wracking.

THE ANGST IN THIS SHIP.

I KNOW! IT IS KILLING ME -- IN THE BEST WAY. Love it. Love them. ♥

And I really dig the connection to his soldier days. Great stuff :)

Thank you very much.

Just as amazing as your last fic!! Love the connection you made between Damon's Confederacy days and the fight for Elena's life :) really hope you write more TVD because you certainly have Damon down pat!!

Thanks for your kind comments. It's a relief to know that I'm not writing Damon in a way that seems way out there. Glad to know the soldiering connection worked for you. And TVD's gotten under my skin; I'm certain I'll write more in this fandom. ♥ ;)

That was amazing. I'm in love with it. Tortured, poor Damon is but beautiful in his affections.

Thank you very much!

Tortured, poor Damon is but beautiful in his affections.

Hurts so good... ;)

WHY?? Why do I always pick the angsty ship?! It's killing me. <-- being slightly dramatic, but it's true.

You're doing such a great job with the TVD fic. You have a fan. LOL

♥ Thank you very much! I'm thrilled you liked this.

The angst potential in this couple is astounding. As painful as it is delicious, if you know what I mean. :)

You're doing such a great job with the TVD fic. You have a fan. LOL

Thanks for being so kind.

The angst potential in this couple is astounding. As painful as it is delicious, if you know what I mean. :)

I definitely know what you mean...it burns in my chest, but I can't help but want more! Ian does such a great job playing tortured Damon!

And really, I've found it hard to find quality TVD fic, so I have to welcome you with arms wide open! LOL



all of your fics for damon/elena are amazing, please keep writing them!

That's very sweet of you to say. Thank you! :)

Awww, and ouch!

Loved this :)

I love the contrast between the faithful dark soldier boy and the spark of wrath we see in this: What is it about him that makes him such a fucking pansy for women who could never love him? There's such a wonderful depth to his character, when we see this mix.


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