Previous Entry Share Next Entry
Revelations: A Parody
Like Kissing Your Brother - fan_cifully
only_more_love
So there's a parody challenge over at theboothexpress, and I couldn't resist writing a response for it.  I've deliberately kept it short in order to minimize pain.  Read it at your own risk.  *g* 

Please note this isn't how I normally write.  This is all for the purpose of parody. All errors and abuses of the English language are deliberate. Forgive me.

Every last word that follows this sentence is a part of the parody.

Revelations:  A Parody

Author's Note: 

I
suck at summaries.  Bones may be slightly OOC.  My first time ritting a story plz b nice.  If I don't get reviews, there will be no updatings.

Taking place during Allens in a SPaceshp

Bones' cerulean orbs welled with tears that spilled down her alabaster cheeks as she stared down at the page before her.  Time and oxygen were running out, but like Hodgings, she had someone she needed to say goodbye to.

She began to sang, ignoring the strange looks Hodgen's was gave to her.

And I don't know how
I can get in touch with you
Now there's only one thing
for me to do, that's to
To get home to you

Blinking, she took the pen in her hand and begins to write.   Out of nowehere,  the right words came to her as a rush of emotion uncoiled in belly and washed over her skin, leaving her shivering.

Dearest Selly,

Before I met you, I didn't believe in love.  Anthropologically speaking, monogamy, and indeed, marriage, are recent human inventions.  But what was once just an oppressive, archaic institution, suddenly holds an undeniable appeal.  Listening to Hodgins proclaim his love for Angela has forced me to see my own truth.  As I sit here and take stock of my life, what I regret most is not having been with you.

With the specter of death looming before me, I am forced to imagine the future you and I will never have.  I will never have the chance to feel your tongue probe the hot, wet depths of my mouth and engage in that ancient mating dance until both of us are gasping for air.  I will never have the chance to wear the white dress of shantung and tulle that Angela chose for me the week after you and I first became partners, and be lead down the aisle toward you by my father.  I will never have the chance to get fat with your twins after we make love for the first time against the wall and you call me Temperance, and I make you buy me pickles and ice cream and Thai food in the middle of the night and massage my swollen ankles.       

Silly, from the moment I looked into your soft, warm, chocolate brown Labrador Retriver eyes, I knew you were my soulmate, my destiny, an Angel sent down to me by God Himself, and all those other things I never dreamed I'd believe in.  It turns out all I needed to be whole was a good man like you.   Without you,  I'm nothing.

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
I hope you dance

All my love, xoxoxo,
Temprance

P.S.
I have been cuttting myself for weeks now.  It helps relive the pain I felt knowing that you and CAm were satisfying your biolOgIcaL urjes together.  We hates her.

-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-

Want more?  You know what you've gotta do.  Clicky the little button.



omg what?! I had to stop several times to look at the tags and make sure I was at the right journal.

and then I laughed

Oh, thank God you eventually realized I was joking. *g*

OMG that like totally rocked!!!!! Your so awesomes, please please please please please youve got to continue OMG LOLZ.... That was like the best eva fic about that letter in that ep (can't remember the name).... you could right a sequal where Seely (thats the right spelling by the way) finds the letter in Tempe's apartment and she sings him the song. That would so rock. OMG sweety I lurved this so much!!!!

(I don't normal review like this btw) :P

you could right a sequal where Seely (thats the right spelling by the way) finds the letter in Tempe's apartment and she sings him the song.

That's a brilliant idea. Thank you! I'll credit you in the sequel.

you so want to make me run ! don't you !

I hope this is a one timer , already 'crap' enough @ ffnet

Your icon is very appropriate, Setje. *g* And yes, I promise this is a one-time thing. My brain might explode if I tried to write like this too often.

MODE PARODY ON

Lucky they're found and they have the chance to do all those things. The twins thing... that's my favorite, I totally see her having Booth's babies!! I love the way you included Thai food, very casual, but there's no good fanfic without mentioning Thai food, right? ;) I bet she's listening to her Foreigner CD (she has a few copies of that CD) while they're still in the car hoping Booth will save them.

MODE PARODY OFF

Oh ho! You are a genius. I wanted to get macaroni and cheese and Hot Blooded in there, too, but I thought I should quit while I was ahead.

Heh. Teh Bizarro!Bonesverse is teh funneh.

Thanks, Alyson. Now I'm thinking of Bizarro!Seinfeld. :)

I couldn't read past the first few sentences - your skills at badfic are truly astounding. Now I must try and remove the memory of those first few lines from my mind!

I'm sorry I hurt your brain, Elena. Go read a couple entries in the dictionary; that should help. *g*

I couldn't do it. My brain just essploded and now my screen is splattered. You kind of rock at teh bad!fic. Is that a good thing?

I wish I could give you back your brain, but alas, I cannot.

You kind of rock at teh bad!fic. Is that a good thing?

I'll let you be the judge of that. ;)

OMG!!!! il oved this 11!1 I want to have you're baby's PLZ put this on FF.net cos its neely as good as all the stuff ther. Sorry if english not you're furst langige but you cant tell atall. Ilove you're Temprence.
xoxoxo

PS where did that lerdo person go? She can't wright like you

Ha! I reply to myself because I can't let it lie. One of my students must have got my password or something. You give good parody.

I. Can't. Breathe.

<3 <3 <3 <3 to infinity. And beyond.

Thanks! I hope I haven't done any irreparable damage to your eyes or brain. *g*

Plagerizer! I red the exact same thing on ff.net. Well, ok, not exactly the same but close enuf! Just because that other fic was so brilliant and got, like, 200 reviews.

Plagerizer!

*gulp* You caught me red-handed.

"Silly, from the moment I looked into your soft, warm, chocolate brown Labrador Retriver eyes, I knew you were my soulmate, my destiny, an angel sent down to me by God Himself..."

This line made me totally lose it! From the spelling of his name to the description of his eyes to her sudden religious conversion is just perfect. Although - I think you should have capitalized angel just to reference DB's previous series.

PERFECT! Please don't ever write anything like this again!

;-)

Although - I think you should have capitalized angel just to reference DB's previous series.

Brilliant suggestion! Thank you for that; I changed it. :)

PERFECT! Please don't ever write anything like this again!

*snickers* Not anytime soon. ;)

Thanks for reading this; I imagine it was painful. *g*


My eyes fell out of my head and rolled around on the desk. Sort of like that scene in Beetlejuice.

I get it, I just don't like it.

Thanks for reading this, Donna. I know it was painful. o_O

[start function: snerk; &proportions: 100+]

Dude, use a spellcheck. Also, 'anthropologically speaking' = LOL.

[/end fuction; begin hysterical laughter]

BWAHAHAHAHA!
'tis brilliantly bad!
I think I've got a new love for parody fic.
And I love that out of all the words people can magically mis-spell when it comes to fic (Selly? Sully, what? or, y'know.. not) they always know how to spell terms such as 'anthropologically speaking', 'monogamy', 'archaic', etc.
Hehe.. This is hilarious.

Loved your comments. *squishes you* Parody fic is fun--in small doses. Too much might short circuit an otherwise healthy brain. ;)

And I love that out of all the words people can magically mis-spell when it comes to fic (Selly? Sully, what? or, y'know.. not) they always know how to spell terms such as 'anthropologically speaking', 'monogamy', 'archaic', etc.

Oh yeah. Just an all-around train wreck.

Thanks for soldiering through this one, Ren. ;)

Like! OMG! That was the *best* fic evah!!! I coudl totally feel Boneses sense of despair at what she and Booth never got together!

*wipes tears*
Thanks SO much for a great Friday night howl. And if you feel like sharing one of these on a regular basis, please do!

Wow! I was totally unprepared for such high praise. *g*

You're very welcome. I hope I haven't lowered your IQ with this. ;)

*hugs* Thank you for bravely reading this, Piper.

?

Log in

No account? Create an account