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Bones Ficlet: Coffee and Conversation (#16 in Into the Fire)
Bones knows something you don't - lerdo

Title: Coffee and Conversation
Series: Into the Fire
Series Summary: This is a series of oneshot 300-word ficlets about Booth and Brennan crossing the line over and over again.
Rating: M
Set in the future.
Spoilers: None
Prompt: #10 (Swallow)
Prompt Table: Sex
Written for: drabble123
Word Count:
Bones and its characters belong to FOX, not me. This story is purely meant to entertain. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary:  With Brennan around, Mondays are rarely boring for Booth.

Click here for fic index.
Click for the other ficlets in this series.

Coffee and Conversation

They were cruising down 95, when Booth grabbed his coffee from the console and lifted it to his lips, anticipating the caffeinated heaven.

“Does it bother you that I don’t swallow your ejaculate during oral sex?” Brennan asked from the passenger seat.

Booth slammed on the brakes, splashing hot coffee on himself. “Jesus, Bones!”

“What?” She stared back at him with raised eyebrows, as if he was the crazy one.

“Give a guy a little warning before you say something like that.”

“A warning?”

“Yeah, a warning.”

“Such as what? ‘Please prepare yourself for our impending conversation about oral sex?'”

Rolling his eyes, Booth set down the cup and turned his attention back toward the road in an effort to avoid starting the week with a car accident. “Hand me some napkins, will ya?”

Without comment, Brennan did as he asked. Booth dabbed at his hand and jacket before giving up and tossing the balled-up napkins into the backseat.


“So what?” Booth replied, exasperation creeping into his voice.

“Does it bother you that—”

“Never mind. I get it,” he said, cutting her off. “No, it doesn’t bug me.” Frowning, he shot her a glance. “Why are you even asking me this?”

“When I was at Angela’s, I perused some of her magazines. In one publication -- I believe it was titled Cosmopolitan -- there was an article about men's top ten secret desires. Apparently that’s number two.”

“Remind me to have a chat with Angela,” he muttered under his breath.


“Don’t read those dumb magazines. They don’t know what they’re talking about.”

“So you don’t want me to swallow--”

“Can we discuss this later?”


Five minutes passed. “So what’s number one?”

“Watching two women perform lesbian acts.”

It was going to be a long drive.

A/N: ;) Thanks for reading and/or commenting.

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LMAO. Perfect interaction. I love flustered Booth, absolutly cracks me up, and you have him down pat.

Holy crap! SO funny!!!

"Please prepare yourself for our impending conversation about oral sex."

That is SOOOO something Brennan would say!

On a completely different note. The new GUTS on Nick has an announcer that reminds me so much of Sweets...and he's almost as annoying.

So, I don't like using "lol" as a general rule, but I'm totally breaking it for this. LOL. :)

I love your Brennan. She's just- well, she's just Brennan. And I love that they're obviously in a relationship here and she just still makes Booth squirm with her pointed questions.

Just fab, sweetie!


The Max and Brennan one down my F-list a bit was great as well :)

This fic so needed a "do not read while drinking" warning. Funny funny funny! I nearly sorted Dr. Pepper. Tihee!


This is too funny and so them.

OMG! See, this is why they could be in a relationship and the show could still work! This is fab :)

Yesyesyes! I second that completely!


hilarious! I can see this! Oh, but I love them. :-)

Mwhahahahaha Amazing!!!
Completely in-character, I can "see" them. And I want to see something like this in the show :D


I. Love. You.

I love Booth, "Don't read those dumb magazines."

I love Brennan's directness.


(And I DO know what all of THIS means. Well...now. Twenty years ago, I'd have been asking early-seaon-one-Brennan questions about why any of these ideas would MATTER to a guy. *grin*)

This is absolutely my favourite kind of fic to read. Flustered Booth is hilarious, as is blunt Brennan, and the part with the coffee had the happy combination of realistic slapstick. Also loved the underlying element of sweetness to the humour - “Don’t read those dumb magazines. They don’t know what they’re talking about.” - which managed to give a good picture of their future relationship without directly describing it.

I don't know if any of what I just said made sense, but I love this story. Muchly. :)

*agrees with bertie* I love your Brennan and I love flustered!Booth.

I found this very amusing! And the direct correlation between how this is set up and the topic they are discussing... I really hope that was intended and not just more evidence of my smut-addled brain making me read more into things than I should. But yeah, I don't think I give you too much credit... ;)
And like TT commented, could see interactions like this on the show and it would still be an awesome show... even after getting them in an ER (estab relat... not emerg rm!).

Thanks for the funny! I can see this conversation in my head -- it just fits so well. I love that Booth can't stop himself from asking about #1, even though he puts down the magazine (which, really, Angela -- you're over 22, doesn't that mean you should have moved on from Cosmo a bit?). Ha!

*snicker* Yeah, I keep seeing this little scene play out in my head now? I think it gets funnier each time...

Oh, this is great! Thank you so much for that much-needed guffaw! You got her voice perfectly, as well as her awareness of societal culture. Booth's voice was very well done, too. The timing between them was absolutely excellent. Great job!!!

*dies laughing* You know, I would love Booth and Brennan getting together, if only because it means that she would be frank, and he would be embarrassed. You've captured that wonderfully here.

LOL...thanks, I needed the grin!

You are unbelievably prolific *and* humorous lately! I like it.

And I *love* this little gem. You've really exploited their characteristics, flustered versus blunt, for maximum comedic value here, KUDOS! This was so *them*--even in an ER (thank you space!). Excellent pick-me-up on an otherwise dreary day.

I can't stop laughing about Booth not being able to resist asking - undoubtedly against his better judgement - what #1 was.

what a laugh

I laughed so much at this one. I agree, this captured Booth and Bones perfectly. This is why I think that there could be a show even if they wind up sleeping together. I hope HH reads this one. Great lines, wonderful humor. So B and B.

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