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lather, rinse, repeat
Perfect Imperfections - unexpectedbox
My EDD is Sunday, Feb. 22nd (TT's bday!).  This is just a guess date; babies don't follow calendars.  As excited as I am to meet my daughter, I am still content to let her hang out until she decides she's done baking.  Fortunately, the midwife/OB practice I see has stated that they'll do a fetal non-stress test if we go to 41 weeks with no baby, and if that is fine, there won't be any talk of induction before 42 weeks.  That makes me feel pretty good.

Pregnancy has taught me a lot, and I'm sure parenting will teach me even more.  These last few weeks of pregnancy have brought out the crazy in me.   Only someone who knows me really well would see it, but it's there.  I am generally pretty self-aware and have a decent sense of my personality strengths and weaknesses.  I usually am not prone to seeing things in black and white or being perfectionistic, but occasionally, like right now, it sneaks up on me.  

The baby isn't going to care if there's dust on the TV or if every last thing on my damned to do list is done or not.  She'll want food, a place to sleep, something warm to wear, someone to hold her, and someone to wipe her tush fifty times a day.  I have to remind myself of that because DH's right; I need to scale it back a notch and relax.  The real insanity and anxiety will begin once the baby's here.  I'll need energy for bringing her into the world and then making sure she stays in one piece.  I'm not helping anyone, least of all myself, by pushing myself this hard to get everything done.  There's no end to it.  There will always be (at least) one more thing on that blasted to do list.  Everything I clean will get dirty again.  Life won't end once the baby's here; I'll have to get used to bringing her along for the ride as I do everything else.  In trying to be efficient and organized to the nth degree, I am quickly getting stressed, exhausting myself, and keeping myself up at night.

So....  Deep breaths...  I am not perfect.  No one has EVER thought I'm perfect.  I can't be perfect.  The baby won't expect me to be perfect.  Anyone who'll judge me for not being perfect isn't worth worrying about anyway.  

Nor am I an abject failure.  I'm human -- usually well-intentioned but still so very fallible.  And that is OK.  That is enough.

I am allowed to do something silly and fun.  I am allowed to watch TV.  I am allowed to not be a fucking grown-up every single second.  No one's even asking me to be like this; it's self-imposed. 

The world will not end because the stove isn't spotless. 

And if it ends tomorrow, the stove is the last thing I'll be thinking about. 

Deep breaths...

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Love your baby, and make sure she has everything she needs. Don't care about the things she won't notice. ;)

You'll do great.


PS: Geek thing: Dana Scully's birthday is February 23rd.

Wise words, my dear. :) I'll do my best to remember what you said. *hugs*

And your geek thing made me grin.

Hang in there. Be gentle and kind to yourself. You are going to be an awesome mom and a clean stove doesn't make good moms.

I'm really so excited for you and your dh and I can't wait to hear all about your wee one. She's so, so lucky already.

Hugs to you.

*huge hugs* You're absolutely right about a clean stove not making a good mom; I know that, but I did go a little crazy there for a bit. *g* I think I've regained what little sanity I started out with. ;)

Thanks -- for everything. I can't wait to have more to tell you about the wee one!

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You totally made me get all misty with your comment. *sniffs* Love is the most important thing; it's important to keep that in mind when perspective starts to slip.

*many hugs* Thank you for the gentle reminder. ♥

*huggles* Just keep with the breathing, hun. Your baby is going to love you regardless of what you do or don't have on left on your to-do list :)

*smooch* You are right. Babies are pretty simple that way, though they can also confuse and confound us. *g* Thanks for the nudge.

Hee, no doubt.

You're gonna be a great mom, L. Quit frettin - and that's an order :P

The world will not end because the stove isn't spotless.

And if it ends tomorrow, the stove is the last thing I'll be thinking about.

Wise words to live by! Should write them down and post them on the fridge :)

Your words tell me you know what's important. You'll do fine, better than fine.

Thanks for the suggestion -- and the vote of confidence! I actually AM going to post that on fridge. ;)

As if you were not already a goddess in my eyes, this little post makes you seem even more so to me. Oh, what a lucky little girl to have a mom like you, and a dad like dh.

And oh, how lucky we are to have you in our midst. Truly.

Something tells me the moment you begin to dilate you'll forget all about the to-do list. ;)

::::::::smooshes you::::::::::::

You're trying to turn me into a puddle of mush, aren't you? As usual, your words are kind. To a fault, even. ♥ Thank you, honey.

Something tells me the moment you begin to dilate you'll forget all about the to-do list. ;)

*snorts* No doubt. *g*


I can't be perfect. The baby won't expect me to be perfect. Anyone who'll judge me for not being perfect isn't worth worrying about anyway. Exactly. In the next few weeks and months, if you find yourself rushing to cross one more thing off the blasted list I hope you'll remember this post. Stopping to take a deep breath - even in the midst of dirty diapers (ok, maybe not at that particular moment) - can only help.

I have no doubt you're going to be a wonderful mother. Enjoy these last few days before the fun [and craziness] begins. ♥ & ((((Hugs)))

So soon? Squeee!!!

Nesting, that's what the cleaning thing is. Mind, if you have a sudden urge to tear paper towels up and sit in a cupboard in the resulting litter I'd phone the hospital.

Good luck and be well.

Yes!!! I'm so excited for your new baby! She's going to be a wonderful addition to your happy family. (((hugs))) The baby will have to be taught to notice dust.

The world will not end because the stove isn't spotless.

amen, woman.

i want to say i've read that kids tend to develop more/better immunities when they aren't in an immaculately clean environment. that's not to say parents should let the house go to hell, but it suggests to me that a lot of the "imperfections" (and yes, i'm talking more than dust) will make her stronger, will give her character. you won't be perfect, but kids are resilient.

all the same, the fact that you're worrying yourself crazy makes me pretty sure you'll be a great mom. :)


I totally get what you're saying.

Your daughter has a great mom already. Enjoy this last while of this pregnancy, of having her be literally a part of you.

hi. :) i haven't commented on any of your past baby posts but i have been reading them. i'm so glad i got to read your posts during a time that was this special to you. [now i sound like a greeting card...] but just, thanks for letting me read the posts. and i hope everything works out well and then baby is on time etc. and this: The world will not end because the stove isn't spotless. is totally true.

I'm human -- usually well-intentioned but still so very fallible. And that is OK. That is enough.

I am allowed to do something silly and fun. I am allowed to watch TV. I am allowed to not be a fucking grown-up every single second. No one's even asking me to be like this; it's self-imposed.

This is so completely true - and look on the bright side, once she's here you won't have time to worry about being perfect anyway.. never mind about whether your stove is clean ;)

Relax and enjoy... it's all excitement from here out!!


You're an amazing person; you'll be a kick-ass mother. This much I know is true. <3.

I have no children but I do have a mum and believe me, perfection is such an non-issue when it comes to your mother. There are things about my mother I don't understand, things I don't like, things I hope I never inherit from her. But above all, she's my mother and everything else is insignificant by comparison. No matter how many times I roll my eyes when she's on the phone, she's still the person I always wanna call when I need to make an important decision. Or when I'm lonely. Or just when I hear a song playing that I know she likes. Trust me, as a daughter I can tell you: your kid is gonna have her moments, she'll hate you at times (hello, puberty!) but as long as you never let her doubt that she comes first, the sentiment will be reciprocated. All she needs to know (that she'll ever need to know), is that you're there. Really there - for her.

As for the stove. Nobody cares. Especially not your daughter.

Best luck. =)

I honestly believe the worst thing a parent can ever be, or strive to be, is perfect.

Kids need to learn it's OK to make mistakes; it's how you deal with the consequences that defines your character. They need to understand there is no shame in apologizing when mistakes are made, that swallowing your pride is sometimes more adult than anything else.

You'll be a great mom, sweetie. All a kid needs is love, which you've already got oodles of. The fact that your worried about what kind of mom you'll be already makes you an amazing one. The parents who think they're going into child raising knowing it all are the ones that scare the hell outta me.

And on the off chance your daughter is born today? I can always use another awesome person to share my b-day with. :-)

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