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Must Have Chocolate
Fellow LJ moms:  how do you make time to write (or do anything else)?

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We wait till the kids are over five and can get their own food and drink and clean up their own messes and operate the TV, VCR, and DVD player and remotes...

LMAO! This!!

Quit work... um... I wrote much more when I was a stay at home mom.

It really does get easier as they get bigger BELIEVE me. Once they sleep at a reasonable hour and stuff you get to be a little more selfish with your time. DH and I are quite good at giving each other personal time away from each other to do stuff like write etc.

But it is a struggle sometimes. And the house is NEVER ever tidy!!


ETA: And because writing never comes to me at convenient moments I have a notepad brimming with stuff these days, waiting to get transferred to the laptop! Something I meant to be doing now...

ETA2: After reading what labsquint said about priorities.. writing makes me happy and I firmly believe I am a better mother when I am happy. It's about balance but FFS don't expect too much of yourself right now. Just remember this is batshit!crazy time, and it really does get easier :)

Edited at 2009-05-25 08:55 pm (UTC)

YES re: house.

But...yeah. It's all-consuming.

When the daughter was very young (- 6 months), I didn't write much. I mostly slept when she slept.

As she grew a bit, I started to write when she slept. In those days, I strapped her into a sling and wrote with her sleeping on my back!

Later, by the time she was 10 months old, I'd put her into the play corral and put the play corral right next to the desk, so I could be close to her and "bill and coo" as she was exploring the corral. After I finished writing (about 1-1/2 segments), I'd take her out of the corral and we'd play together. Sometimes, I'd get down on my hands and knees, and we'd crawl and explore the house together. Sometimes I'd read her a story. Regardless of what we did, she learned that after Mommy's "write time", she had HER Mommy and I time.

By the time she was 1 year old, I put away the play corral and just placed her on the floor next to the desk. She'd play there very comfortably for about an hour - long enough to get some stuff done. Then it would be Mommy and I time, and we'd play/read together.

It's never been problematic for me, since I just integrated the playing time into the post-writing time.

Also: I never had the choice of write/not write. I'm an academician, and publish/perish is a way of life.

Edited at 2009-05-25 07:00 pm (UTC)

Yay for more baby-wearers!

I was going to write my own comment, but after reading this I just wanted to second all of it :-) It's a balancing act - especially back when I was finishing my MLIS during DS's first year of life - and it gets easier as they get older and are able to entertain themselves a little better and sleep on a more regular schedule.

I'd also enthusiastically second babywearing! The sling was a lifesaver for me any time I really needed to get some writing finished and DS wasn't in the mood for playtime or just wanted to be held while he slept.

By making it a priority because it's important to me. Keep in mind of course that my kids are 12 and 14. I'm not sure how I ever would have managed it when the kids were small, especially when there there two of them (they are only 2 1/4 year apart). But I put in about 25 hours a week on our writing, two or three hours a night and 5 or 6 hours blocks on both week-end days. It's a good habit to have gotten into now that we're going to leave the world of fanfic and make the leap to professional publishing. Even writing at that rate, it's going to take me 6 or 8 months to kick out an original 200,000 word manuscript.

So the bottom line is that you take the time when it's important to you. If you can only shoehorn in minutes, then that's what you do and you'll shower us with drabbles and we'll be happy with that. When your daughter is older and can amuse herself, you'll suddenly find that you have more time. You're busy and we get that, and for now, she needs you a lot. But it won't last forever...

It gets better with time...

Ida has started sleeping at more regular times during the day freeing time up for me to do non-kid things- and is down for the night at around 9pm and since she's currently not *knock on wood* waking up during the night anymore I'm not wiped out when she's in bed thus freeing my up for all the little geekthings I loved doing before I became Mommy.

I'm also blessed with a little girl who even though she's only just shy of 6months old - demands her own space during the day to just explore the world from her activity center on the floor which also means i don't have to sit next to her all day. Again that gives me wriggle room.

Also gotta say her Daddy - when he's home - is just in love with his little girl and that also gives me room for me-time.

How is your beautiful little girl doing? Since we're on the subject I've gotten an entirely newfound kind of freedom now that Ida is starting to eat things aside from breastmilk.

less sleep. :(

But as the others said, it gets better as the kids get older.

It partly depends on the kid.

Aaron from a very early age (6 months or so?), was happy to spend upward of 30 minutes to an hour amusing himself. But that's pretty unusual. Until they're around 2, it's hard.

When you have 2, it's easier in that respect. Aaron was more than happy to make Zachary laugh. I just had to be nearby. And by the time they were 2 and 5, they spent a lot of time playing together (and getting into various shenanigans.)

i ignore them. they'll eventually fall asleep or go away. ;)

srsly tho, I don't think I could add anything to what these other awesome, multi-tasking MOM's have shared. VERY hard to find a balance - some days you get there, some days you don't.

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