only_more_love

*hugs*

I offer: CHOCOSPHERE and highly recommend the Grenada Chocolate and other single-origin chocolates.

*hugs*

*hugs you back* Thank you for them; they helped.

How is your summer going?

AND OH MY GOD I THINK I HAVE DIED AFTER CHECKING OUT THOSE LINKS. fjsdfssjfjkwewkeg

My summer has been awesome. I've written a couple of (three?) stories. I want to write a pile of Bones, but I have another non-Bones story I have to write before I'm allowed.

And school starts back in a month, so, of course, I'm already dreaming of being late for school on the first day, and unprepared, and incompetent...

But the migraine of the past 3 days seems over, so, I'm going to count it a win overall...and try to get back to the exercise I did for a week then abandoned for over a week now.

I just remembered my new icon that I've barely used. :-D

I hoped you enjoyed the chocolate. *makes grabby hands*

I hurt my finger on a Friday afternoon, and it started swelling on Saturday. My doc's office isn't open on Saturdays, but I hauled my phalange to a clinic; that doc x-rayed it and said it wasn't broken, and it should be ok in 2 wks. But now I am starting to get concerned... :( I have never messed up a finger before, so it's possible this is completely normal as it's healing. I just don't know.

I hate owies.

Hmmm. No dancing phalanges for you then. It may be a hairline fracture that didn't show up, or damaged tendons that take a long time to settle down. Can you sprain a finger like an ankle, because they swell up like a balloon but also have a ton of bruising. My ankles notoriously give way under me ao I know about damaged ligaments (which do take about a fortnight to settle down).

We always used crepe bandage soaked in vinegar wrapped tightly round the ankle to reduce swelling and bring out the bruising. Of course this was in primitive times before anti-inflammatories!

I slipped on the stairs a couple weeks ago, and when I braced myself, I jammed or sprained my right middle finger. :(

Awww...*hugs* I remember those days. To be a man and able to sleep through anything....wouldn't that be nice?

Your finger sounds broken. Have you been to the doctor? It probably needs to be taped up, so you can't move it and it'll have a chance to heal up for you.

I hope you feel better and get some sleep and chocolate soon! Your muse is probably just tired after the sleepless nights. You'll be writing up a storm again before you know it and it will rock! *hugs*

*hugs you back* Thank you, Meggi. DH is a good guy, but I do envy his ability to be oblivious in sleep. :(

My doc's office is closed on Saturdays (I hurt my finger on a Friday afternoon), but I was able to get to a clinic. The doc there did some x-rays and said my finger wasn't broken, and that it should be OK in two weeks. It's been a little over two weeks, and it's still hard to make a fist, it hurts if it bends, and it looks funky, so I just don't know. Perhaps the best thing to do is to get in to see my doc...

Thanks for listening -- and for the reassurance. I appreciate it! BTW, are you back in the states now?

Oh yeah, my husband had every intention of getting up with the kids in the middle of the night with me. He just sleeps like the dead. By the time I could actually get him I was usually wide awake and irritated. He's a good guy too, but I realized I was fighting a losing battle with him. He used to ask why I didn't get him up too! I always wanted to smack him when he said that. LOL!

That would probably be good if it's still bothering you. Maybe the doc could do something to at least alleviate some of the pain if nothing else.

You're very welcome! I've been back in the States since November. I'm in NM, which is somewhere I never really considered living. Gotta love the USAF! It's not so bad, though. We've had lots of family visiting and we bought our first house!

Okay, from an old, well experienced mom to a young, still struggling mom.

1. Turn off the monitor. If they kid has a real problem you will hear them scream. Baby monitors have robbed more moms of sleep than any baby ever born.

2. Turn off the monitor. M. needs to learn to get herself back to sleep and will if you don't keep disturbing her to find out what you are hearing on the monitor.

3. Leave the monitor on and put it right next to your husband's head as loud as it will go, then go sleep in another room. Explain that you need at least a little sleep if he doesn't want to be killed in his and that for tonight he is responsible for the kid. Do this at least once a week until you feel better.

4. Take your finger and have it X-rayed. The odds are great (almost 100% that you have fractured it and it will need setting and/or support and you will need a little analgesic relief. My hubby broke the tip of a finger when it got hit by a nerf ball. Your injury sounds just like his. He didn't get it looked at until several years later (when he stuck his hand in a snowblower - very lucky, kept all his fingers,) and has had trouble with it ever since.

5. A little rest will do wonders for your ability to write. I suggest a little writing exercise such as a nice "fairy" tale about fathers that sleep through baby night noises and the consequences of said actions. Cathartic.

6. Hey, we love you and so does your hubby and M. You just need to let them show it better. Tell hubby what is wrong if you haven't already. Most men are clueless. The reason they don't wake up is that they know we are already awake and probably taking care of it. We will call them if they are needed. Make it his responsibility for a day or two. My hubby used to say he went to work to get some sleep.

6. I know you already know this one. Housekeeping is always there whether you do any or not. Sleep when M sleeps. I used to curl up on the floor with mine and had lovely naps with them snugged up to my side or lying on my tummy.

7. You can laugh or cry. I prefer laughing, you get better wrinkles.

D

Oh, thank you, M! *hugs you back* It DID help. :) *mwah* You are sweet.

You know...this is AWESOME advice.

I, oddly, can sleep through ANYTHING (including BOTH kids jumping on MY bed while I'm asleep in it), and Husband wakes to them...except for the once-a-night feeding for Ben for those first 15-18 months...while I was working full time and he was the SAH dad.

Yeah.

Sleep is NEEDED. Tell hubby you need to get some. *hugs*

It was years before it was diagnosed that I have very severe sleep apnea. I always figured it was just habit from 3 kids keeping me awake half the night. I breast fed and none of them was willing to sleep through the night for the first 3 years of their lives. I spent 9 years sleeping in a rocking chair with my feet propped up and baby propped on pillow in lap. This way you don't have to get out of bed to take care of them and you don't have to worry about rolling over on them either. Of course, one is working on a Ph.D. in Spanish Medieval History, one is a degreed automotive technician who is 6'8" and 295# and the third, who was really unhappy at being weaned, is an 18 year old computer whiz, who everyone thinks is about 30 and who has already been accepted into the College of Engineering here at our state University. So, I suspect that it was really all for the best. Sleep? Highly overrated, unless you don't get any! Of course, that same comment could be made about sex.

D

You are beyond lovely. Thank you for your kindness.

I will come back to respond to your specific words of wisdom, but I wanted to thank you now for your generosity and sense of humor. You sound like such a kind soul. ♥

One tends to reap what one sows. I remember the days you are living now quite well and surprisingly enough, from the far end of over 28 years, they are more remembered laughter than tears. I remember hubby coming out of bedroom at 1 am and saying "can't you make her stop crying. I have to get up to go to work in a few hours and I need my sleep." This was not accepted with anything like sweet generosity on my part. My oldest child had colic for 6 months starting at about 6 weeks old. She would start crying at 10pm and quit at about 6:30 then wake up and be raring to go by 7 am. This taught me to sleep when ever I could and that housework will always be there so why stress over it when there are so many other things to enjoy. A little "quiet" conversation (babies really don't notice when you yell at each other, as long as you don't do it in the same room as they are in and close the door first,) and suddenly there was a little more compassion and understanding (not much at first but it grew) from the one who got to go to work and get away from it for a few hours.

( I also learned that long drives would quiet the baby and that grandmother's colic recipe was the best - better than what the doctor recommended.)
(Oh, it was 3oz of blood temp water, 1 tsp of daddies best bourbon or whiskey, 1 TBSP of honey (we don't use honey any more but sugar would work fine, molasses or Kayro syrup wold probably be best) let child drink all they want of it, rock them a little, and if necessary sit in chair holding babe, with feet propped up, blanket and pillow convenient and drift off to sleep with child held to chest. Recliners are a wonderful modern invention - wish I had had one. Conversely, this recipe made in a substantially larger batch could make mommy's life much more mellow. It really did work.)

Someday, you too will look back on this madness and wonder how you survived it! But as the old saying goes "tomorrow may bring but bitter sorrow and tears so today we will find laughter to temper our tears."

All the very best,
D

i wish you lots of sleep and lots of chocolate.

your poor finger! that really sucks. have you considered a doctors visit?

*HUGS & SQUISHES*

^ I give extra great hugs. They make everyone feel better. :)

And! *sends you giant, gourmet chocolates*

Feel better, sweetie!

mendenbar has the BEST advice - turn off the monitor. Let little M. work it out - she'll let you know if she can't.

And you should have the finger checked out again - doctors get things wrong.

Give that baby a hug, and eat some chocolate - it couldn't hurt.

*hugs*

re: your finger
My dad broker his finger, was misdiagnosed and splinted badly. It healed that way and he never straightened it again. I'm honestly not trying to alarm you, but a second opinion at this point is warranted. If nothing else, a second opinion that agrees with the first will calm your fears. If it is a sprain - well, I have heard people say that a break would have been better. Having badly sprained both my ankle and thumb, I couldn't agree more. Sprains take forever to heal, and the injured body part is never quite the same. I know it's frustrating, but it will get better. Just see a doc and put your fears to rest.

re: writing
Writing is always more difficult when things in your life are a bit topsy-turvy. I'm just coming off that roller coaster, and let me tell you - my inspiration during that period was drier than the Gobi Desert. When things have settled and you're in a better place, your magic will return. You're too talented to not be writing for very long.

re: kids
As I am single and have NO experience with kids in that way, I can only agree with what mendenbar01 said. Very good advice.

I hope things turn around for you very soon. Oh, and I miss you like crazy, hon! Hugs to you.

I'm seriously late chiming in here. Sorry about that... I've been away in Rhode Island and I'm just trying to catch up now.

I'm sorry that things are rough for you right now. I think most of what you are feeling can be chalked up to lack of sleep. And I know what you mean about fathers sleeping so heavily and mothers so lightly. It's amazing how our sleep habits change once we have kids.

Here's a question for you -- is M close enough that you don't need to use the baby monitor? We never used the monitor at night because the kids were just down or across the hall. If they were upset, I'd hear it because we left all the doors open. But I wouldn't hear little tosses and turns to keep me awake; I'd just hear the crying when they needed me. Would that help? Is her restlessness keeping you awake when she needs to be able to learn how to soothe herself to sleep anyway? I mean, you won't be going in there to pat her back when she's 15; putting yourself to sleep is a learned skill...