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Bones Ficlet: It's Always Have and Never Hold
Sad!Booth - lerdo
only_more_love

Title:  It's Always Have and Never Hold (1/1)
Characters: Booth
Rating:  PG-13
Spoilers:
For 6x3: The Maggots in the Meathead.
Summary:  Brief tag for 6x3: The Maggots in the Meathead.
Word Count: 369
Notes: Title comes from the lyrics to The Fray's "Look After You."
Disclaimer: Bones and its characters belong to FOX, not me. This story is purely meant to entertain. No copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: DH is out with our daughter; yay for an hour of "me" time. *g*

To lurkers and commenters alike, thank you.

Feel free to friend for updates. If you'd like me to add you back, please say something; I don't bite. :) 

***

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Booth makes it back to his place first, arms full of a celebratory bottle of Syrah and a brown paper bag containing manicotti and some apps from Gianni’s.  They might not get to the last two before they’re cold, he thinks with a grin, but that’s OK; food’s almost always better after, when you’re naked and starving.

It’s funny how the apartment doesn’t quite feel like it’s his again yet; he can still smell it, something just a little musty, and he’s sure there’s a squinty explanation for that, and yeah, he doesn’t want to think about science right now, not when Hannah’s going to be home any minute. Home.  His home and hers, too. Mi casa su casa.  

There’s this warm, twisty feeling in his gut, and he swallows. He’s ready for this. He is. Screw what Sweets thinks. He’s a good kid, but what the hell does he know about relationships anyway?

After he gets everything settled on the dining table, he runs the water in his shower, letting it heat up. Before he lets the water wash off the day and get him ready for Hannah’s arrival, he stops in his bedroom. He pulls open his sock drawer and takes out the small photocopy he’s kept there for... for a couple years now, since she gave him the original. He doesn’t intend to look at it, but it’s almost like he can’t help it. Same Caribbean eyes, but the face and the smile are so much younger, open and innocent and untouched by the hurt he knows she’ll experience after her parents’ disappearance.

The small rectangle of paper sits feather-light in his palm. When he realizes his other hand has clenched into a fist, he forces his fingers to relax. With a shake of his head and a sigh he’s thankful no one else is there to hear, he folds the photocopy into eighths and carefully tucks it into the bottom of the trash can.

He’s different and she’s different and she wanted this. With a last glance at the trash can, he turns back toward the bathroom.  Hannah’s coming soon, and he needs to get ready, in spite of the dry lump in his throat.

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Oh, Booth. No, no, no, no. Don't do that.

I will say this about Thursday's eps, it's brought out my favorite Bones writers. And right now, the fic is all that's getting me through.

So nice to see words from you, my friend! Oh, the angst. It kills me.

It's killing me too, my dear. :( But hopefully there's something better on the other side of the tunnel -- for both of them.

Thank you for reading and commenting.

This is painful (how many times have I said those words in these last few days?). Honestly, you had me very surprised when he threw the picture into the trash. I would have thought Booth would hold on to it still, but I suppose he is committed to moving on, yes?

Really glad to hear your voice again. ♥

Thank you, Miss M! You know, I think of Seeley Booth as being the kind of man who would do his utmost to TRY and be physically and emotionally faithful to any woman he committed to. But you can't erase what's in your heart as easily as you can put a picture in the trash, can you? ;)

Gorgeous.

I can't feel any more or less for Brennan or Booth at the moment. Painful for them both, beautifully captured here.

I love: Caribbean eyes

Thank you, my sweet. ♥ Yes, this is just bad for both of them. But they're all trying to do the "right" thing.

If he is going to truly attempt to move on, he has to do this. But I think that Thursday's ending showed quite clearly that they are both hurting. As I said to someone else, they both have what they said they wanted: Brennan a life without entanglements and Booth, someone to love him 30,40 or 50 years. But it is clear in their eyes that now that they have it, they aren't sure if they want it under these circumstances.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me. Yes, yes, and more yes. They're both trying to do the "right" thing -- and making themselves miserable in the process.

Oh gosh, but this is painful --- just as painful as watching what's happening in each episode.

I ache for them, especially Brennan.

Thank you, M. It is hard to watch, isn't it? I don't judge Booth for trying to find happiness with Hannah, but I imagine that for Brennan, he's proving every sad thought she's ever had about how ephemeral "love" is.

Bingo! His behavior is, to her, proof that love doesn't last, and that she was correct to reject his offer of "life long" love.

GAH. i just watched the maggots in the meathead a few minutes ago so the pain is still fresh. GAH.

beautifully written though. =)

*consoles you* Thanks, honey!

this is what moving on looks like
Indeed.
He's definitely going through the motions, isn't he? As painful as it is to watch and read about, I find my optimism brims eternal. ;)
So glad you used your "me time" to share this with us, dear. *feels honored*

Thanks, hon. Yeah, I doubt that the purpose of all this is to give Hannah and Booth a happily-ever-after on the show. *g* Though anything's possible!

And *mwah*. Writing's as much for the writer as it is for the reader, as you know.

Oh, ouch.

Gorgeous.

And then...to have him walk in later to find all the girls there together...

Ouch.

Ouch indeed. Thanks so much for reading and commenting on this; I know you must be very busy now that school's back in session.

Another shimmering piece from you. Thank you.

He’s ready for this. He is. Screw what Sweets thinks.
For once I'm with Sweets. Booth is trying so hard, and the person he tries the hardest to convince is himself.

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